Are you a medical mastermind?

This quiz which I compiled on the subject of the human body was aimed at readers of a teen magazine. And to appeal to the male audience in particular, it’s suitably squeamish and stomach-churning in parts. In fact, you might not want to read it over breakfast.

[head] Are you a medical mastermind?

[sell] How much do you know about the more squeamish elements of the human body? Test your wisdom by tackling the 12 stomach-churning, rib-tickling teasers below.

1. Which travels through and out of your body the fastest?

a) Farts.

b) Burps.

c) They both travel at the same speed.

2. What happens to old ear wax?

a) It simply melts and dissolves into the skin of your ears.

b) It dries up and falls out in small flakes during the day.

c) It’s eaten by wax mites while you sleep.

3. How many hairs do you have on your body?

a) 100,000.

b) 1 million.

c) 5 million.

4. What is the eye gunk that gathers in the corners of your eyes overnight actually made of?

a) Sweat, oil and tears.

b) Snot, water and salt.

c) Blood, sweat and tears.

5. What is your funny bone?

a) A nerve that crosses the bone near your elbow.

b) A bone on your elbow that tingles when you hit it.

c) An area of bone on your skull that’s directly above the ‘humour’ area of your brain.

6. Why do we have nails?

(a) They’re extensions of the bones in your fingers.

(b) They make it easier to scratch an itch.

(c) They protect the ends of your fingers.

7. Why do we have nose hair?

a) It keeps our nostrils warm.

b) It stops dust particles from getting caught in the lungs.

c) It stops snot from dripping out before we can find a tissue.

8. Babies are born with 300 bones, but adults have about 206. How come?

a) Some bones fuse together as you grow.

b) Some crumble and get absorbed into your body as you grow.

c) Some turn into calcium and dissolve into your blood stream.

9. How fast does air move out of your mouth when you sneeze?

(a) 20mph.

(b) 100mph.

(c) 300mph.

10. Which of these statements is false?

a) Each eyelash lasts two years before it falls out.

b) Bones are four times stronger than concrete.

c) You make about one pint of spit every day.

11. What is your Gluteus Maximus?

a) It’s the gloopy fluid that protects your kneecaps.

b) It’s the big muscle that you sit on.

c) It’s the largest section of your intestines.

12. How many dead skin cells fall from your body every minute?

a) Up to 100.

b) Nearly 5000.

c) Almost 40,000.

[head] Answers

1) b. Farts take over 30 minutes to travel through your body. 2) b. Gross! But the wax is there to protect your ear. 3) c. The only hair-free places are your lips, palms and soles of your feet. 4) a. When you’re asleep, your eyelashes stop brushing away your tears, hence the gunk. 5) a. The bone itself is called the humerus. 6) c. Fingernails grow faster than toenails. 7) b. A sneeze is how we expel the dust. 8) a. The bones forming your skull are one example of this. 9) b. Looking at a light can help you sneeze! 10) a. Eyelashes only last about 150 days. 11) b. And it’s the biggest muscle in your body! 12) c. Without your skin your insides would spill out!


[head] How many did you get right?

0-4: Do you even know your arse from your elbow?! Just kidding. You made a good effort!

5-8: Pretty impressive stuff. You have the makings of a grade A boffin!

9-12:You’re either a medical mastermind or you have an unhealthy fascination with all things gruesome. Well done all the same!


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